Allow Me To Put An End To Your Suffering... Psyche!

I was worried when my law firm told me they had showers in our offices (for us to use if we were there late, or early...) Then I got really nervous when they gave us Blackberries to carry around at all times and have 24/7 contact through e-mail, in addition to our laptops and cell phones. When they came up with happy hour every Thursday, in the office of course!, I got really concerned...

But with the addition of defibrillators on every floor of our office now, my worst fears have been confirmed! That's it, we're chained to these desks forever. Even death offers us no escape from the tedium. Now, by the miracle of modern science, we can be at work on a Sunday afternoon, stressed to the hilt because some big project is due first thing Monday morning, suffer a heart attack brought on by the stress and the all-McDonald's-all-the-time diet this kind of work imposes on us, and be brought back from the brink with the ol' shocker, given some apple juice, and propped right back up at our desks so we can finish that draft discovery motion!

Yeah, lookit' 'im go!!!