'Twas The Night Before Fitzmas

--by Randy McGowan

"Twas the nite before Fitzmas and through the White House
Not a neocon stirred, not even Cheney, that louse
The documents were shredded and all burned with care
Even Judy was smart enough not to be there.

The liberals were snuggled all warm in their beds
Convinced that George Bush would no longer be led
With Laura in her burkah and George in his cap
He thought to himself, can I beat this wrap?

Then from the news there arose such a clatter
George ran to his office "what the hell is the matter!?!"
He grabbed Rove and said "what is the excitement?"
And there stood Fitzgerald, hands full of indictments.

Karl’s bald head then started to glow
Like George Bush’s nose, in the days he did blow
When what to his bloodshot eyes should appear
But cops and attorneys and all coming near.

Fitzgerald was thorough, if not very quick
And George now realized he wasn’t that slick
More rapid than eagles Fitz’s charges they came
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name.

"Now, grab all those docs and seize that computer!
Arrest Cheney! And Rove! And Rumsfeld and Scooter!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
Now, lock away, lock away! Lock away all!"

With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Fitz let George know he had plenty to dread
He leaked not a word, but went straight to his work
arrested them all and said “Bush you’re a jerk.”

And poking his finger in George Bush’s nose
Said time for a speech in the garden of rose
He sprang to his car to his team gave a shout
And away they dragged Rove who started to pout.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight:
"Go F yourself Dick Cheney, and all your friends on the right!""